Could you critique this script for a short film? I’m submitting it for a film school application.?

Question by crazygirl: Could you critique this script for a short film? I’m submitting it for a film school application.?
Nazi story

Selah is a Jewish woman, in her early thirties, living during the time of the Holocaust. She has been sent to a concentration camp and has been enduring all of the gruesome horrors that take place inside of it.

EXT Out in the cold night air, a woman, Selah, stands shivering, covered only by thin rags. She is surrounded by several Nazi guards who are bringing her back from laboring outside all day. She is broken and defeated, but determined to keep her composure. She refuses to give them the satisfaction of victory over her will.

The guard wrenches her arm but she holds steady. She whispers the slightest rebuttal under her breath, but it’s enough. The guard shoots her a look that could possibly end her on the spot

Guard: What did you say to me?
Selah: I said, I won’t go back there.

The guards lips curl into a sick smile.

Guard: You bitch, you’re gonna get it.

The guard spins her around to face him. Selah eyes him coldly, with a deep loathing set in her expression. His hand makes a solid connection with her sallow cheek. She is unmoved, jaw set, face firm as a statue. Her lack of response enrages him. He raises his hand again, but it is intercepted mid-swing.

Aryan: No!

The guard spins around with much surprise, and takes in the figure that is opposing him.

Guard: Aryan? What the hell are you doing?
Aryan: Let me… Let me take this one, I haven’t gotten to do this in a while

Aryan’s voice comes out somewhat dejectedly, but he manages a half hearted smile. The guard snorts, beginning to catch his drift, and the smile returns to his face.

Guard: Alright, have at her. What else are these whores good for?

Aryan shoots him a look, but he is too busy laughing with his buddies to catch it. Aryan takes a painful step towards Selah, and for several moments is unable to look at her. When he finally manages to raise his eyes, hers instantly meet them. She takes him in with a half shocked, half enraged expression.
He raises his hand to deliver the first blow. This time, she collapses to the floor, but not from the force of the physical hit. She takes a boot to the ribs, and lets. out with the rest of her breath, a heart wrenching sob.
Aryan struggles even more with the second glance. He is taken aback by her appearance.
Her once long and flowing dark hair is now chopped and matted. Her full, beautiful, glowing face, sunken and pale. Her eyes are the worst. Where there was once a twinkle, full of life, there is darkness laced heavily with despair.

She lays on the ground, arms locked around her knees, trying to keep her heart from spilling onto the floor. She wants to stay strong, she needs to stay strong, her undying will is the only thing holding her from the brink of insanity.

Aryan looks at her with every apology in his eyes, but she does not meet his gaze. He has to keep going, to have any chance in the world, he has to sell it. He kicks her once more in the ribs, but she is unchanged, eyes held closed as rigidly as her body. Aryan cannot take anymore, this is killing him. He grabs a handful of Selah’s hair and yanks her to her feet. She waivers, but remains standing, eyes still shut tight. He slaps her until, finally, she opens her eyes, releasing a flood of tears.

She is instantly lost in the crystal blue of his eyes, a color that has been burned into her memory, How many times has she gazed into these same eyes, how many nights has she dreamt of being enveloped in that cool gaze just one more time. No matter much it hurts, she does not regret this moment. Even set in her enemy, who will surely soon deliver her demise, she wants nothing more than to be amiss in these eyes.

Aryan stares back into her desperate expression, feeling every measure of her pain and despair. Taking in his defeated and pleading expression, Selah gains new insight about their encounter. They make a connection, and for what seems like an eternity they stare into each other’s soul, and feel all the love of a lifetime.

Aryan can feel his comrades growing ever more suspicious behind him. He shifts his hand uncomfortably in Selah’s hair, loosening, and then tightening, tilting her face to an awkward angle. A single tear gathers and slowly descends his face, leaving a shining trail down his cheek, telling the story she needs to hear. Selah silently understands and tightens her eyes once more, releasing her body and distrust to take in the last hit.

The crushing strike comes to the side of her face, and she cannot help but to let out a small whimper. Aryan releases her hair, trading it for a firm grip on her arm and snapping her back around toward the open corridor. As he turn, he sees the other guards eyeing him curiously. He holds the stone cold expression on his face and prays that the light, emanating from the single lamp post over head, doesn’t catch his tear streamed face. As he takes off, Selah’s body is jolted into motion.

INT Weak from struggle, Selah’s l

Best answer:

Answer by Torch-Bearer
Who is more scared?
A very good Rendering!
The love takes a different dimension.
What an end!
Nice Plot!
Celebrate!

What do you think? Answer below!