Curing My Depression with the Business of Colour
hindsight, I was only making films for myself.
I won’t speak publicly about a large part of my depression (it involves other people), but I can’t help feeling that the last dismal five years have somehow been necessary. An inevitable need to finally listen to what had polluted all of my films, that curing my depression is an intrinsic part of being able to produce quality work.
I think of my depression as an addiction. A barbed wire blanket I wrapped around myself. A desperate self-destructive last line of defence against feelings I couldn’t bear to feel. Like all addictions, once I got clean I had to face up to all the reasons I started using depression in the first place.
Trying to build a successful online business is immensely stressful. I still worry about money all the time. The indifference of the market place can feel a lot
