Is this a good opening scene for my movie?

Question by AntonioR: Is this a good opening scene for my movie?
I’m making a homemade horror movie, and this is the opening scene tell me if it’s good pleace thanks

My Last Birthday: Script

Characters in scene: Stacey & Vanessa

(Night out; shows front of house)
(fades into the back of Stacey’s head and talking on the phone)

Stacey: I’m telling you! We should have the party at my house! It’s perfect!
(shows Stacey looking at a magazine)

(shows Vanessa at her own house and reading a magazine too)

Vanessa: Yeah, but people wouldn’t want to drive all the way to your house. Like, your house is really far.

Stacey: Yeah, but we could play loud music without the neighbors complaining.
(laughs)

Vanessa: That’s because your neighbors are 15 minutes away from you! And did you even ask your parents for permission.

Stacey: Exactly my point! And no, but I know they’ll say yeah.
(long pause)

Vanessa: Well, tell them now!

Stacey: Well, they aren’t here. But I’ll for sure ask them when they get here.

Vanessa: I guess! But I’m telling you if no one shows up your dead!

Stacey: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you still reading the magazine!?

Vanessa: Yeah, are you reading about the tape?

Stacey: Yeah! I did not know she had it in her!

Vanessa: Well apperantly she does!
(laughs)

Stacey: Hey, why are we evening planning this party? Our birthday isn’t for another 2 months.

Vanessa: Like I said yesterday,”We need to do cakes, decorations, reservations.” Stuff like that. It takes a while trying to throw a big bash.

Stacey: I guess… Doesn’t make since but okay.
(Stacey walks to the kitchen)

Vanessa: Oh my god! Hey turn on the news!

Stacey: What??….. Uh, okay.
(runs to the remote)

Vanessa: Hurry, hurry!

Stacey: Okay, okay! I did.
(Stacey grabs the remote and turns on the t.v.)
What channel?

Vanessa: Channel 1. Hurry!

(Stacey turns it to channel 1)
(Shows the new)
All you hear on t.v.: 4 STUDENTS FOUND DEAD EARLIER TONIGHT. ONE OF THEM JUST DAYS AWAY FROM HIS BIRTHDAY. THEIR LIVES CUT SHORT. POLICE OFFICIALS ARE STILL INVESTIGATING WHO DID THIS HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE CRIME.

Stacey: Is that Jason Bates?

Vanessa: Yeah, and Kathrine, Micheal, and Michaelle.

Stacey: Oh my god! That’s horrible. I had Kathrine for dance!

Vanessa: Yeah, we both had Kathrine for dance.

(phone beeps, caller from other line)

Stacey: Hold up Nessa, someone calling me from other line.

Vanessa: K K, but hurry.

(Stacey pick up the call while getting the remote and turn off the t.v.)

Stacey:(takes deep breath) Hello?
(silence)
Hello?
(silence)
Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?Hello? Hello? Hello?
(phone hangs up)
The french?!?
(goes back to Vanessa)
That was akward.

Vanessa: What was? What happend?

Stacey: Well, Jorge called and was like,”Hey this is Stacey right?” and I’m like,”Why yes it is? Who may this be?” and he goes,”Jorge…Well I heard you Vanessa talking about me at lunch earlier today.” and I said,”Oh really?” and he says,”Yeah, well tell Vanessa to hit me up sometime.”

Vanessa: Oh whatever!!!
(laughs)

Stacey: Ha-Ha… No. It was wrong number.

Vanessa: Oh.

Stacey: Yeah, but anyways
(interrupted)
(gate slams again and again)
Ahhhh!!

Vanessa: What happend?

Stacey: Freakin’ gate scared me… Hey, I’ll just call you tomorrow. I’m tired.

Vanessa: Whatever. Bye bia….
(stacey hangs up)

CONT’: Stacey goes out side to closes the gate. As she closes it she sees someone with a mask walking towards her. She begans screaming and running. She barely makes it to the door and when she’s about to close it the killer put his/her foot inbetween the door. Stacey is trying to close the door then she lets goes of the door and the killer looses his/her balance and falls to the floor. So Stacey grabs the door and closes it and locks it. She’s going around the house closing all the windows while dialing 911. While she’s about to close the back door she notices it open. She goes closer to the door then all of a sudden the killer tries to stab her and she ducks and runs out the back door. She tries to go to the other gate but its lock. She tries to climb over it but the killer grabs her legs and she falls off. She’s crawling backwards while yelling and she gets up and when she does the killer immediately stabs her and the stomach. She falls to the ground crying and the killer slahes and on the screen it says
Last Birthday

Best answer:

Answer by Zeana Sandoval
omg that wass INTENSE:D loveddddddddddd it,♥

What do you think? Answer below!