Q&A: Does this fifty word opening paragraph make you want to read the rest of the story?
Question by Ali: Does this fifty word opening paragraph make you want to read the rest of the story?
I’m 13 years old, and entering a writing competition for Natioinal Youth Week.
I collapsed on to the dirty pavement of the nearly empty street. The dim glow of the moon cast a spooky glow as the streetlights flickered. I thought to myself that this would make a dramatic scene for a horror movie. I didn’t know then that tonight would create its own horrors…
Best answer:
Answer by Not just any chick
Not bad but desperately needs editing and it needs to flow. Sentence 1: On to should be onto. Sentence 2: too many ‘glow’s. I won’t rewrite it for you, since it’s your entry, but use punctuation to make it flow better (semis, colons, and commas). Good luck!
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