Q&A: How does this part of my story sound?
Question by Jamie: How does this part of my story sound?
This story’s about two teenagers who are asked to be part of a science experiment where some scientist want to see what would happen if two thrirteen-year-olds were to be married and if it is better to be married when younger or older.
Jamie stood by her locker, waiting. Jake walked up to her.
“Let’s go,” Jake said.
The two them walked their way down the hallway, to the greatest moment in their lives. As they walked to the office, the short hallway felt like a mile long. Everyone around them seemed to go in slow motion.
I’ll be giving up my family. Jamie thought. I won’t see my teachers again. I won’t get to be in the school play again. I’ll barely ever see my friends again. I won’t get to go to prom. I won’t get to go to graduation. I’m giving up a lot. But it’s worth it. I’m helping out in a major experiment.
I’ll be giving up my family. Jake thought. I won’t be able to play sports again. I won’t get to see my friends for a long time. I’ll miss out on going to prom. I won’t get to graduate. I’m giving up practically my whole life. But, it’s all for a worthy cause. I may help determine if it is better to get married when younger or older.
The door of Mr. Black’s office creaked open. The newly engaged teenage couple sat down in the over stuffed chairs, both with a tear in their eyes.
“I’m glad to see you here,” Mr. Black smiled. “This is one of the scientists, Dr. John Wizouski.” Mr. Black gestured to the man standing behind him.
“It is very nice to meet you two,” Dr. John said. He had a very thick Russian accent. “To be honest, you two are the fourth couple we’ve tried. But I’m glad it worked out for you.” Dr. John noticed that Jamie had a tear rolling down her cheek. “Oh, here, let me get that nasty tear out of the way.” He took a Kleenex and wiped away the damp teardrop.
He is wiping the tear off of my fiancé’s cheek! That’s my job! Jake thought.
“We need you two to talk over your future for a while,” Mr. Black said. “You can go in the staff meeting room.”
“Thank you,” Jake said, taking Jamie’s hand and walking her into the meeting room. They sat down in the chairs. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“No you’re not. What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing, really.”
“Are you sad?”
“A little bit. I mean, we’re giving up all the fun stuff that most teenagers do! We won’t ever go to prom! We won’t graduate high school! We won’t see very much of our friends and family! This is a very stressful and risky decision we’re making.”
“Is that all?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, no, we won’t go to prom, but we get to do something even better. We get to go to a wedding, our wedding. Plus, you’re so smart, you should have graduated this year, anyways. And, if our new house doesn’t have one, I’ll buy you a laptop, just for you, so you can email your parents and all your friends every day. See? It’s not all that bad.”
“Yeah, you’re right.”
“Is there something else?”
“I’m just so happy.”
“Why?”
“Because, out of all the guys in the school, Mr. Black paired me up with you. For a long time, I’ve been wanting to ask you out, and now, Mr. Black has made it much easier.”
“How about you and I go to dinner and see a movie this Saturday?”
“Okay.” Jamie smiled.
“I’ll pick you up at five fifteen, kay?”
Jake sat Jamie on his lap and cradled her in his arms.
In the office, Mr. Black and Dr. John we’re watching the two through a camera they installed in the meeting room.
“See?” Mr. Black said. “I told you that they would be a good couple.”
“You do not lie, Phil,” Dr. John admitted. “Here’s your ten bucks.”
“Thank you.” Mr. Black took the ten dollar bill for Dr. John and put it in his pocket.
I’m not afraid of criticizm. I need to know how most people would say if they were to read my book. I want to make it as good as it needs to be. 😀
It’s not a very easy marriage. It’s full of lies and difficutlies. The twist at the end will keep you talking and wanting to read again and again.
They don’t have to give up their families, they just won’t be able to see them as much. You find out why they don’t have to go to school a bit later. And it’s kind of a realistic fiction story.
Best answer:
Answer by madluvdogs
I LOVE IT!!!! but what is the book called i HAVE to know if/when it comes out!!!
please answer mine!:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Al9iPgbFJTVCK0YpQGqzNWPsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090813153110AAKxifO
What do you think? Answer below!
