Q&A: im tryin to make a slasher movie so as of now im finalizing the script any tips on making it better?
Question by spike: im tryin to make a slasher movie so as of now im finalizing the script any tips on making it better?
if u wanna see the script itself then here it is
The Script
CHARACTERS
killer a.k.a. the stranger
damion
patty
sicitrist
amy
greg
Scean 1
[2 months earlier]
*dark blind fold over eyes*
greg, *panting*
vic 1(older gentleman):please dont harm us
vic 2, i have kids and a loveing wife that wants me home for dinner*groveling* please dont
Stranger, i dont care what you have AND I DISMISS YOUR PLESS FOR MERCY!!
[blade going through skin] vic 2, *screaming in pain* aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa noooooooooooooooooooooooooo
vic 1, *screaming*no dont hit me with that ham-
*the loud thud of a hammer silences the screams*
stranger, *laughing hystaricly*why arnt u a quiet one
*blind fold peeled off/first person*
*stranger grabs camera*
stranger: your next and i always keep my promises
*elbow hits stranger and knocks him off balence*
*camera runs for it out a break in the tree covered forest through a grassy feild*
*shows greg in a bed while shot zomms in on face then trasitions to a dream where greg is chained to a tree then stranger aproches him and pulls out a knife*
stanger:dont worry im sure satan has reserved a place for you IN HELL!!
*stanger thrusts knife untill its inches from gregs stomach*
*dream ends as greg abrupty sits up in bed*
greg:no……..
*opening credits roll as it shows greg riding his bike to a house*
scean 2
*greg knocks on the door* someone out of shot opens the door*
theripist:i herd u may be coming soon i have prepared a set for you
*greg sits in set and relaxes*
sicitrist, what do you remember?
greg, screams
sicitrist, any thing else?
greg, blood……… every where.
sicitrist, did you see a face?
greg, he was masked
sicitrist, did he tell you anything
greg, he said that i was next
*killer comes from nowhere and stabs sicitrist repedidly*
stanger:YOUR NEXT!!
*shows gregs face in horrible shock*
*pops out of day dream*
sicitrist:greg!
greg:o sorry, continue with the questions please
sicitrist, what did you do next?
greg, I ran from him
sicitrist, who
greg, the stranger.
scean 3
*3 months after the muders*
Damion: greg!
*shows greg open eyes*
greg:what
amy:we where thinking that…..
*friends look at each other*
patty: you should get out more………ever scince…
amy:the insident
patty:youve seemed distant
greg: im fine i hardy think of it any more (lie)
amy:well we just want u to know were here for you
greg: i know
damion:its retarded thinking someone salks you every where you go!
*shot from woods with hands clearing bushes*
greg:its just this creapy feeling i get some times
*camra returs to normal*
amy:i dont blame you
damion:its geting dark lets get home….before the killer gets us*spooky sound*
*camra gos back to first person shot of stanger who turns away*
*friends walking*
scean 4
*all enter front door*
greg:*akwardly* um put your coats in the closet
patty:ill put them all away i guess
*patty opens closet and is sucked in*
*zooms in on door handle shakeing while patty screams in agony*
damion:Oh my God whats happening?!/Background greg:*emotional*im next IM NEXT!
*Damion shoves greg*
Damian:stop that
amy: *pounding on the door* what are you doing to him??
*blood floods under door*
*all noise stops*
amy:is it over?
greg:*stressed* he wont stop untill were all dead
damion:patty?
stranger:*mocking*are you okay patrick?
*evil laugh*
amy: patty! who is it?
patty:*weak*uhhhhhhh….strang-
*amy walks away as sounds of stab and screaming begins*
*greg stops*
*screaming dies down*
stanger:woops
*evil laugh*
damion: call the police!
*greg grabs a phone*
*greg clicks phone buttons*greg: OUR PHONES ARE OUT!!!!
scean 5
*amy walks into the basement*
* Zooms on her face*
amy:*sighs i had to get away*
*slowly stranger apers in the background with knife*
stanger lunges at amy but she side steps him*
*amy turns knife back around and stabs him*
Stranger: you dirty witch!!*
*stanger swings around to stab her in the neck*
amy*whezzing* why……why would you do this?
*stanger kneels next to amy*
stranger: why? to please my sociopathic lust for blood of course **grins**
*stanger puts knife to her neck*
scean 6
*distant scream*
greg and damion:amy!
damion:i thought he was in there?!?!
*camra slowly but drimaticly gos towrds door the hand opens it*
*opens door*
*a blood coverd patty falls down*
Damion:*stuned*demon……
Greg:*panicing* Hes no demon Hes the DEVIL!!!
*door down the hall creeks open*
*strangers head pops out*
stanger:long time no see greg how the theripy doin
gerg:*scaredly studders while he makes cross on chest*
*stanger shifts behind wall*
greg:hes gone?
damion:no remember last ti…
*stanger comes out of closet and stabs greg with knife repedidly and violently while he screams in agony*
*stanger shows pocket knife to damion*
*damion runs for door while stanger chases him*
*damion runs past her up the street*
*stranger grins*
Stranger
Best answer:
Answer by ACT24
I suggest you format this better if you really want a good critique. People won’t take you seriously and it’s also very difficult to read. Considering you are serious, I’m sure (I hope) you know that this isn’t even a parsec of a feature length screenplay.
I understand that this is meant to be a slasher film. But the basis of any movie is the plot. And I just don’t see any. There should be a little more dialogue and also more realistic non-generic dialogue. Your goal is to make your audience to forget there watching a movie and believe in your characters. By what’s happening and what’s being said, I feel like of seen this movie before. I just let you know, the movie I saw was terrible.
Starting at a time before the action of the actual story is usual in slasher films as you want to start off with action. But there is no need to specify “2 months earlier” if you’re progressing into the future as the film continues. Specifying a time later is fine. Just mind your time line.
If this is for a class or you actually want to sell a script on the basis of this draft, you have a lot of work to do. I know that this may be just rough view of what your script may actually look like, but I want you to be aware that this is in not even close to what even so much as an outline of a screenplay should look like.
You can start perfecting your craft by getting screenwriting software such as Final Draft to help you with formatting. Then next step (Maybe even the first) you need to take is getting some literature to guide you. (This is not a joke) I recommend Screenwriting For Dummies. It help me a lot when I first began writing.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
