Building road to my future…?

Published July 7, 2011 | By Bman

Question by English isn’t first language: Building road to my future…?
I asked this question before too, but I got nothing but nagging and nobody understood me, so try to understand, please.

(English isn’t my first language).
My is burning right now, I can feel how bridge to my future burns now, so I need to take a big jump ..
The thing is I failed math exam, I really tried , but still I failed. I was thinking about to go to vocational school to get a job.. (but I don’t know what is useful to learn, with no math)
I actually know what I want, but that’s something everybody wants… I’d love to become a rapper and an actor..
Dream about becoming a rapper isn’t like because of fame, even if I really am ugly, there still would be these psycho fans chasing me,which would be bad, I guess.
I wanna do it, because I wanna spread the word.
I mean in school teacher had told me everyday that I have no future ( maybe it’s lame, but I wanna show them that I have ).
They’ve told so many mean things to me and without any reason… I don’t like school, mainly because I have very bad teachers… They’re making “jokes” that we’re like that like we are due Chernobyl disaster’s.
Once manual training teacher attacked my classmate (really, there was almost no reason, he just wanted to talk to classmate and teacher attacked him) and we went to police and they did nothing..
I know that I am not alone, so I’d like to spread the word loudly and support people who are doing bad in school.
I know a lot of people commit suicide due school, they know that they’re worthless and they have no future… So I wanna support people with music, with lyrics..
I have to practice my English, I know… I have also a strong accent.

Becoming an actor ( in movies ) would be because I have no friends, people had disliked me since I was small,for example when I was small, I went to some birthday with my mother and other kids told “Don’t play with him!”and they offended me often.
So, since when I was small, I’ve been a lonely kid, I am now too, I’ve gotten picked on in school a lot of times too. So I have problems with my self esteem, but good people in the internet are helping me. I only have some internet friends…
Maybe it would be a good way to make friends and kind of hobby too, even I know acting in a movie isn’t that fun, I mean you have to do same thing about 1000 times and it takes hours to save one clip,but still…
If looks do matter (but there are a lot of ugly actors too, even in a porn movies) then my pictures are here: http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=263092373&albumId=36980

Well… The thing is, I don’t know where to start… I’d like to go to US/Canada, but I also wouldn’t leave Europe… Where to start ?! I know it’s a long and hard road to crawl, but soon I wanna fly…
Which job would you suggest me to do ?