Q&A: Should I stop helping my best friend’s problems with her boyfriend?
Question by Brian: Should I stop helping my best friend’s problems with her boyfriend?
So the story is, my best friend met this 31 year old guy online (my friend is 22). They’ve been seeing each other for a little over a month. She always talks about him and says she misses him but also has told me when he was 19 he was caught selling ecstasy. I found that a little hard to take in because that is something you don’t want to get involved with, even if he did it a long time ago. So I told my best friend that she should watch her back.
So my friend has a habit of telling lies to make herself believe that what she is doing, is right. I don’t know if that makes sense. For example, I’ll ask her if she went over to her boyfriend’s house before. She’ll tell me “NO! I would never go to his house especially this early in the relationship.”
Then 2 days later she will tell me “Oh last week, I went over to my boyfriends house and he cooked for me. Then we fell asleep together watching a movie! It was such a good day.” In my head, I would be thinking, (hrmm, didn’t she tell me 2 days ago something differently?)
Okay so on to the story. Two nights ago they were supposed to hang out but he never responded to her calls or anything the whole day. The next day he was without a trace too. Then at night, he called saying he was thrown in jail. Right away, I was thinking to myself, this guy is trouble. They met up that night and he explained to her that he was over a friend’s house that he hadn’t seen in long time. While he was there, his friend stepped out to sell weed. His friend sold the weed to undercover cops who then came into the house and arrested my friend’s boyfriend too. Her boyfriend said he never smoked weed and didn’t know that his friend was selling or had weed in the house. He was just there and it was bad luck that the cops were there the day he visited.
The WHOLE story sounded fishy to me. I told my friend my thoughts, that I thought he was lying and that he was probably there smoking weed and got caught too. Or maybe even back to selling drugs like he did when he was 19. My friend is a very, I guess you could say “DUMB” person lol. She says to me “No, he wasn’t selling drugs, he told me. He also said he never smoked weed.” I told her that guys lie just to get the girl to stay with them.
I told her that he sold ecstasy when he was 19 and can’t get a decent job to save his life. Now he got caught in this whole dilemma and you believe him? You can’t always believe what he tells you, especially a drug dealer. They are known to be good liars. She responds “He never sold ecstasy! I never told you that!” I told her that she was just lying to herself because she really likes him.
And she keeps saying “This is why I don’t tell you anything. Because you judge me and my boyfriend all the time.”
I was really trying to be a friend for her and it seems like she doesn’t want to hear it. I know most of you would say, “forget her then.” But she is my friend and I do care about her. I don’t want anything bad happening to her. What should I do?
Best answer:
Answer by Sonny
Sounds to me like it wont be long until her relationship is over then she is going to really need you to be her friend,try be there for her when it happens!
Add your own answer in the comments!
