Any English teachers please proof read my essay? It’s on the movie Schnidlers List?

Question by : Any English teachers please proof read my essay? It’s on the movie Schnidlers List?
It’s worth 20% of my english final. So it really means a lot. A grade would be good too. If something is wrong. TELL ME. Please.

This is the prompt.

Schindler and Goeth have many conversations throughout the film. They speak about power, the
stress of managing camps/workers, and even defend each other’s actions. In the end, Schindler is
considered a hero while Goeth is executed for crimes against humanity. As an audience, we are
left with many questions. Should we consider Goeth a villain? Does Schindler believe Goeth is a
villain? Does Goeth have the potential to become a “righteous person”? Are Schindler and Goeth
really that different? Do they have similarities? Are they friends? Are their jobs responsible for
their actions?

Considering all of these questions, your task is to write an essay analyzing either Schindler
or Goeth. Explain how they were portrayed in the film and argue whether they should be
considered a good or bad character. Support your claim with evidence from the film.

Your essay should be 2 typed pages using Times New Roman 12 point font. Your essay
should be written in present tense using correct punctuation, grammar, and spelling.

In World War II Germany was ruled by a man named Adolf Hitler. He was a man who wanted to put all the Jews, homosexuals, and African Americans in the world into camps and kill them all. There were several movies about this tragic event but there’s one fairly recent movie Schindlers’s List. In this movie there’s a character named Schindler. This Schindler person starts off as a man ruled by money and only believed in gaining money. Although this is how he starts, it’s quite different from how he ends.
In the start of the movie Schindler begins as a simple money loving man who will do anything to get tons of money fast. He comes up with the plan to hire some Jews to work for him because Jews will work longer, get less pay, and will still get the job done. Using this, he takes some of the Jews who were supposed to go out to concentration camps and putting them in his factory to make pots and pans. He only takes them out of the camps to make money. Not because they were supposed to die in the camps.
He also kisses up to the people who will give him workers. He sends gift baskets to several different Nazi officers. He sends them these baskets to get workers as needed. This means he only cares about the money because he is making connections with the people who are slaughtering thousands of people daily, all to just get workers. His belief is most likely “Spend a little here, and get a lot more from it later.”
Then later on, a woman comes to see Schindler but is denied at first. Then comes back dressed fancy, and as if she was wealthy and did everything to look attractive. Schindler takes her in and talks with her. The woman wants to have her parents transferred from a camp to Schindler’s factory. The “place no one is killed” and she calls the factory a paradise. Schindler gets upset and denies her request. He goes to speak with his close friend who is the man who manages Schindler’s money. He has going around and telling people about the paradise factory. Schindler almost mocks him and walks out. Then you see the woman’s parents walking into the factory as the woman is watching from a distance. So Schindler obviously ends up accepting the woman’s plea. This is a main part because this is where Schindler starts to change from his old greedy self to a different man.
The most dramatic change is early in the movie Schindler saw a little girl wearing a red coat going to hide from SS officers before she is taken to a concentration camp. Then later on Schindler sees this girl’s dead body in a wheel barrel going to the furnace to be burned. This causes a giant change in Schindler’s head. He then goes to his accountant friend and lists off hundreds of Jews. Then he goes to a man named Goeth to buy the people who are on the list. He gives up a lot of money to buy these people and essentially save their lives.
His change finally becomes complete in the end of the movie. Schindler keeps talking about how many people he could have saved just by selling some things. He says he could get two more for a button. He starts to cry for the people he could have saved but didn’t. That’s when he completely changes from a man who loves nothing but money, to a normal caring human being.
In the movie Schindlers’s List the main character Schindler changes from a selfish, money loving, and just pure ignorant man, to a normal caring human. He changed through different events and realizations.

Best answer:

Answer by hypoE
Character comparison essays are classically written within a 5 paragraph structure.
The first paragraph should be a introduction to the piece and your thesis statement about the questions in the prompt as valid or not. Then follow suit with two paragraphs analyzing the characters separately. The fourth paragraph will be where you assemble the characteristics to prove your thesis. Lastly an exit summary reiterating your original thesis as proven.
The present tense allows you more freedom for concept because it aims at your own opinion of the piece.

“In this movie there’s a character named Schindler. This Schindler person starts off a…” This is horrible language use and I question whether you even saw the film at this point. A better phrasing would be… This film is built around the character of Schindler whose WWII experience we follow as he develops into a empathetic man…..

I am torn between a B or C for this paper because of the limiting wordplay in it but I am also judging you by college standard. For High School I would say it’s a high B perhaps even an A depending on the teacher.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!