How is my book so far? its the FIRST chapter?
Question by America: How is my book so far? its the FIRST chapter?
Please tell me what you think so far. Its the FIRST chapter and it has NOT been to editing. I know I have a few mistakes!! Tell me what you think and what I could do to make it better and if I have your permission to use what you told me!!:) and PLEASE be as nice as you can about telling me what you think so far!!:) Im new at this also. Thx!!:) Oh and tell me if you think you might be a fan (from what you can tell) and If you would want to read more!!:) Thx!!:)
1
Chapter 1
Fame
It was one o’clock Friday May 15th , and today I turn seventeen years old. I’m in the middle of making a movie called “The Love of Justin Martins Life” and I play Justin’s “love” Jessica. My real name is America. America Rose is my full name. It was intermission right now so we have about an hour to just hang around. Max, Emily, Nikki, and Kate, are my co-stars. So far, out of the six or seven movies’ I have done so far in my career, Max, Emily, Nikki, and Kate, are my favorite cast mates I’ve had so far. I guess its probably because we are all about the same age.
“So America, what has been going on with you and your new bf Zack?” Max asked, in a girly mocking tone. “Well, everything is going so good so far.” I said, mocking him in a boyish tone. We all laughed. “Oh, America, don’t forget, tonight Emily, Nikki, you, and I, are going to the movies to see, “The Sunset Romance” for your birthday.” Kate said. “I won’t.”
It was strangely cold for May. I guess I’m just used to Los Angeles, California. And it doesn’t help that we are in Dayton, Ohio. Dayton is small, yet big in someways. Its small because I live in Los Angeles, California. And big because except, for Columbus, Cleveland and Dayton are the biggest city’s in Ohio that I can think of at the moment. I only know what I know about Ohio, is because, I lived here from the ages of eleven to thirteen. I have been all over Ohio. I was born in Nashville, Tennessee and I lived there until I was eleven. Tennessee is my favorite state.
“Back to the stage everyone.” Called our director, Mr. Smith.
We were doing the kissing scene. I don’t mind kissing Max, who plays Justin, because, he is kind of cute and I’ve done other kissing scenes with him in another movie we did together called, “A Small World” and I have to admit, he is a pretty good kisser.
We got in position. “Action,” Mr. Smith called.
“You know, your not so bad.” My character Jessica said.
“Your not so bad your self.” Maxes character, Justin said. I glanced over at the screen we look at for our lines. “Then come over here and show me how you feel for me.” My character said, leaning forward. “ Okay.”
After all the filming for the day was done, I worked out a schedule for tonight. I went to the hotel we were staying at in Xenia, Ohio. It was The Holiday Inn. I’ve stayed there quite a few times before because, my Aunt Kelly lives in Canada for her photography career and because her wife Judy lived there, so my Aunt Kelly moved there for Judy, and when they come down to visit and most of my family lives in Ohio, she would stay at The Holiday Inn and they would always try to get the biggest hotel room they could so, Nick, Adam, Shane, who are my closest cousins on my dads side, and I could all stay at once, but that rarely worked. That reminded me, tonight I needed to go to see my family here, I’m sure I could work out something. Actually I might go right now.
I went up to Emily and I’s hotel room and I got freshened up. Put on different clothes and I wrote a note for Emily that said,
Emily,
I went to go see my family that I have in Ohio. I’ll be back in enough time to get ready for the movie. I want to see my cousins Nick, Adam and Shane. Along with my Aunt Gina and everyone. If you need anything, call my cell and if I don’t answer call (547)-389-5527 (My grandmas house) or (547)-625-2904 (my cousin Shane’s cell) Call me if you get this know I know you got it. Thx. TTYL.
P.S. If you call one of the other numbers, just say ‘I need to talk to America its ‘ whoever calls.
America
I left the note on the computer desk and I walked out of the hotel room with all I needed.
I had no trouble coming in the hotel, it was the going out that I had trouble with.
About fifteen fans asked me for my autograph. That’s not even half of it. When I walked outside, I was buried in paparazzi. I let my body guard off for today. Security had to come out and calm them down. When I was able to get free, I hurried into my car and drove off.
When I was in the car, I turned on K99.1 FM. “Cowboy Casanova” by Carrie Underwood came on. I met her about a month ago. She was so n
Best answer:
Answer by cat
Great start. Yahoo answers, however, is not the best place to post literature. If I were you, I’d request critique on a writing site. I think the best one out there is writerscafe.org. If you want to friend request me and I can review your chapter in detail, my pen name is Jacqueline Vondrack http://www.writerscafe.org/writers/bright-eyes/
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