Q&A: could you please fix my story ? thanx?
Question by rsgino7: could you please fix my story ? thanx?
He said I succeeded. I can not imagine myself being in that position. To start of, I am Rachael Smith and I dream to be an actress. I am into fashion, music, and love jewelry. As I was saying, a man ran into me during the auditions, saying I was selected as one of the top ten girls in the new movie. I couldn’t believe my ears, but I was listening to something I always wanted to here. My long bangs covered my eyes and I couldn’t figure out who the man was. I stuck out my hand and tucked my bangs behind my ears and looked straight at him. It was Mr. Knapp, my 12 grade English teacher. I took my bag and left the room. Rachael is a kind of a person who likes to extend her reach towards her dreams.
The co-chief director called her home telling her she needed to go into a private school and learn more about movies. Rachael was brave enough to walk in her new classroom. Her classmates discovered that she flowing through her work and she was achieving compliments from her teachers. She was walking down the hall reading a sing on the board. It said if you want to get yourself into actions tryout for the co-ed NHL. Thinking back and forth, it wasn’t such a bad idea to try out. So, next week, Rachael was standing on the rink in her new hokey jersey ready to play hockey. Her three tryouts went well, but unfortunately did not make it in the team. Rachael did not want to think anything expect her school work. Her exams went well it was time for a spring holiday.
Rachael was walking out her front door step, wearing a skimpy tank top and tight jeans. Her hair was plastered with about a pound of hairspray, so that when it hit the humidity, it barely drooped. Rachael got in her minivan, and it roared out of the driveway in a flurry of screeching tires.
Rachael was taking flying lessons and something awfully went wrong. As she was starting to set up her model, the engines blew of. It flew right in her minivan. An explosion of fire broke in and all Rachael could see was smoke. Rachael was scared to death. Huge firemen carried impossibly long hoses into the backyard. This was a real close call. If the firefighters hadn’t caught the fire as quickly as they did, it could’ve burned down the whole block.
Things were getting back to normal and the Smith’s family decided to visit a foreign country. They were camping outside, when the Smiths’ entered a newly discovered planted. It was different from their home planted. Rachael reacted differently towards what she was facing. Rachael couldn’t sleep, so, she made her way to the forest. As she was walking, an unexpected bear made his way towards her. He made scary sounds that made Rachael run. Rachael shivered and looked around, terrified now, her imagination racing a million miles a minute. She was getting scared but maybe the bear hadn’t followed her. She kept on moving, no matter that her knees stung and her stomach was tight with fear.
She was making her way back when she was captured by spies. She couldn’t make up her mind. When the spies felt asleep, she ran on feet made swift with terror, and with every step she heard something crashing through the brush behind her in distance. She made her way out, she exhaled in relief.
Best answer:
Answer by tonalc1
Sorry, no, too long.
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