Q&A: To what extent is the severity of my social ineptitude?
Question by SweetAzuresong: To what extent is the severity of my social ineptitude?
Let me paint for you the picture of my life. I’m 22 years old, on the verge of obtaining a degree in Biochemistry and applying to medical school. I’m about 5,8, In decent shape, very warm and friendly with people, said to be decently attractive (a few sources). However, I seem to be plagued with the inability to meet and retain potential friends.
To be frank, I have never even hugged a member of the opposite sex aside from my mother and sisters, I have never been on a date, my friends list on aim (12 people lol) is composed entirely of males albeit with the exception of some females from my family. I have no face book; I claim not to use it because I don’t believe in conformity when really I don’t use it because I know virtually no one.
I’ve gone through 4 years of high school without attending a single party, dance, or social event with friends aside from just hanging out and playing video games. College was more or less the same thing although a large factor of my seclusion was due, in part, to intense study; I will make no excuses, I was also terrified of my peers although they seemed to respect me and make attempts to include me. I am regretful now that I did not entertain their gestures. Nowadays, I sit in my bed on Friday nights with my laptop and read articles, movie reviews, medical school forums, listen to music, and do homework while everyone else seems to be enjoying their youth.
To shorten things up, I became heavily attracted to a female in college. However, while making attempts to become closer to her I inadvertently pushed her farther away (in a strictly non-physical manner, she was dating another guy and I made the mistake of saying I “liked” her), sadly at the expense of an exhilarating (from my eyes) friendship. Now, I’m going to be in school for just 2 more quarters and i’ve recently found another girl who I think is very cute, and will try to get to know her.
Anyway, I’ve realized that I am almost incompatible with other human beings on a social level, although I am capable of speaking to them from a vantage and garnering a certain amount of respect from my peers. It feels as though I’m looking through a sheet of glass at the people around me, detached and non-included. As I age I become more and more fearful that I may one day reach a point where I may never have the opportunity of falling in love mutually and experiencing a meaningful, exciting friendship with a young woman.
Just how messed up am I socially?
Plainly stated, what would you do/have done differently had you been in my situation?
What are some of the reasons you would postulate for my inability to connect?
What are some things I can do now to strengthen my ability to communicate with people?
Any other information is appreciated.
Best answer:
Answer by manjyome_thunder
I think I know what your trying to say. Well relationships start off with casual conversations about things that both of you appreciate. The relationship continues to grow from that point onwards and doesn’t start with a blunt “I like you”. I was the same when I was in high school, I didn’t like the ideas of parties or social gatherings but when I am forced to go, I always take a notebook or pad and pencil or pen. I write my observations on what goes on a party and how do the people interact. I think that’s a good way but try not to get caught or else you’ll be treated as a weird person. People aren’t socially messed up, they haven’t socially “bloomed” yet.
What do you think? Answer below!
